depression web

Based on Jonah ch 4

Was Jonah suicidal? Was he depressed? If so why?

Maybe God had disappointed him?

Maybe he felt that he was made to look a fool? Delivering a message of impending judgement which God then changed his mind and didn’t carry it out.

Perhaps he was just tired and exhausted after  three days of confronting an entire city with their sinfulness and doing it alone.

Maybe his expectations were not met and he wondered if his reputation as a prophet was now trashed. Maybe he wondered if he had a future as a prophet.

Perhaps he was just confused by God.



Images from Notts and Derby Synod. My last one as I move out of the District at the end of July. Its a challenging time for me as I have not been stationed as yet and I am wondering what God has in store for me. The last image came to me as I reflected on the challenge.

The theme of the Synod presented a challenge to the Churches and circuits to explore what ‘Intentional Discipleship’ means for us today. It seemed as though God was speaking into my personal situation, and I wonder if there is some mutual cross-over and connection, a shared journey, a stepping out together.

This piece of music expresses the challenge and the only reasonable response. It gives voice to the desire to step out of the boat and conveys that sense of vulnerability.

Suffering Saviour

I created this rather ghastly image a little while after the Grenfell Tower fire and I guess it was my prayer for those that suffered, and continue to suffer. It might seem a strange image and a strange response but sometimes we have to find a way to express our thoughts and prayers (a phrase that has come to be shorthand for ‘do nothing’). We can’t all rush to help and whilst sending money might be helpful, nothing and no one but God alone can sooth the suffering soul. To pray is to do something. My image is a prayer that says that God is present, and was present, in the suffering. Some might say that God would have been more useful to have stopped the suffering before it happened – but that was our task, our collective task, the task of all those empowered to make decisions about fire safety. We dropped the ball  and others suffered but God is the one who gathers up the broken in his arms, both those lost to us and those who survived the disaster. So how can we help? How can we comfort those who live on?  Thoughts and prayers, and perhaps an increased attention to the needs of others, especially those who are the most vulnerable and least able to secure their own well-being. I’m sure the inquiry will likely highlight other factors that could help prevent such a disaster occurring again. The survivors and witnesses of the fire may gain some comfort from that hope. My hope and prayer for them is that God by some divine power brings peace to their spirits and they can pick up the pieces of life and start over. May God grant them peace and strength to do so.

On finding old art


I have been having a clear out of my stuff and I checked through a box of old journals and stuff and found a few sketches that I had done a good few years back. No titles but it was surprising what I could see in the images that invoked a sense of a spirituality. The one above is of a tree without leaves and yet other trees have leaves. ‘Lifeless’ is how I would title the image and it perhaps reflects how I was feeling in August 2002. I had been redundant for about 6 months without work and finding the search for new work quite dispiriting. It would be another year before I would be working.

This second image created at the same time I’ve called ‘Pathway’ and pathwaythere is a sense of a pathway leading out into an open space and I guess that reflects the sense of direction that I began to sense as it was about this time I considered that my future work lay in another direction, as indeed it turned out to be the case.

The last image I found has no date but it likely was created about the same time. It depicts an old fishing smack at anchor in still water with some nearby trees and a hill in the distance. ‘Stillness’ is the title I would give this one and it perhaps reflects the stillness of a working boat that is waiting for the tide before putting out to sea to catch fish. Interesting that this is perhaps a suitable metaphor for the work that I would soon be engaged in in working for the Church (reference to Jesus calling of the disciples, Simon and Andrew – Matthew 4:18-20 ), although at the time I had no idea where, when or how that would take shape.


Retreats and Quite Days

Recently I have had the opportunity of a quite Day (Under 5s) and a guided retreat (MDO area group) and I have taken art materials along with the view that they may help. The result has been 4 different images (3 from the quite day and one from the retreat) and a bit of poetry.

The first three are from the quite Day

still waters - web

Still Waters

Cross refletion - web

Cross reflection

competance - web


I thought about how knife-edge it can feel be to operate on the boundaries of your comfort competence (what you know you can do) and trust that the Holy Spirit can enable competence where you are beyond your experience.

The last image is from the MDO Area Group retreat

We are Deacon - web

We are Deacon

This image started of as prayer bubbles of thankfulness in paint (play) and developed into relationships of Deacons, MDO, Methodist Church, Jesus, Father and Holy Spirit.

I wrote some Haiku to go with it (which I did as I went along) as this was something suggested as an option in exploring the issues of gratitude, Promises and Living truthfully in the context of the shared life of the Methodist Diaconal Order. My first attempts at Haiku.

I tried to think of gratitude in terms of rhythm of change as an antidote to grumbling. My initial thought was the natural rhythm of a boat and how a crew needs to develop a sympathetic movement to enhance the speed or risk slowing the boat down by trying to force the pace of maneuvers.

She has her rhythm

You cannot force change on her

You can move her flow

This then developed

To Move in God time

to measure the pace of life

is to be in peace

In terms of promises I thought about the importance of being at one with each other, committed to the relationship. These two poems try to cover this sense of interdependent commitment. I really like the first one. It conjurers up the image of a rope.

We Strands together

Take up the strain together

and hold together

and the second of the two

Others me complete

Others together complete

Others I complete

and finally on Living truthfully three more

Open Book I seek

Open Book I am not yet

Opening Book


Some Pages I share

Some pages I keep hidden

Some pages despair!


Christ rewrites each page

with mercy, grace and forgiveness

Jesus saves each page

Community of the Broken



For all the Victims. The abused. The abuser. The broken community. The Crucified Christ.

This music was part of my inspiration – the Lyrics just seem to fit so well with my prayer

Holy Insemination

Holy inception - web

Sunday 14th December 2014, Gedling Rd Methodist Church

Luke 1:26-38

The preacher used an image of Mary’s encounter with the angel Gabriel and I was inspired to express that moment of the Holy Spirit coming upon Mary and the divine overshadowing – the moment of Holy Insemination.